Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

Faith, spirituality, and “spiritual bypass”

• Some argue faith/religion help people let go of regret.
• Others describe “spiritual bypass”: using religion/spirituality to avoid processing difficult emotions, offloading responsibility to a higher power.
• Debate over Christian ideas like “carrying one’s cross”: some see it as encouraging growth and clean slates; others say it personalizes suffering and traps people in guilt instead of learning and moving on.
• Modern “spiritual” movements (astrology, crystals, “vibrations”) are criticized as shallow and psychologically unhelpful.

Cognitive strategies for handling regret

• Reframe regret as data for future decisions: “focus forward,” blameless postmortem style.
• Some mentally expect to make new mistakes later; this shifts attention from ruminating on the past to choosing a better future.
• Mindfulness: focus on the present; past is unchangeable, future is a mental construct that can fuel anxiety.
• Treat painful episodes as “cheap lessons” that prevent larger future losses.
• Viewing regret as a universal human experience reduces shame (“my brain doing what brains do”).
• Portfolio mindset is seen as limited when one regret (e.g., divorce, long relationship) dwarfs the others.

Stoicism, fatalism, and responsibility

• Stoic-inspired approach: be fatalistic about past and present (they “had to” happen) but active about shaping the future.
• Supporters say this preserves tranquility and avoids irrational regret.
• Critics worry it can become self-deception or passivity; they prefer emphasizing action and responsibility, then self-forgiveness.
• Some reconcile this: accept that you did the best you could with the information and context then; regret is irrational if the decision was reasonable at the time.

Money, windfalls, and life-course regret

• Multiple crypto anecdotes (Bitcoin, Litecoin) illustrate huge “missed gains” and how people rationalize them (would have sold early anyway, or a big windfall might have been destructive).
• Discussion of how large sudden wealth can amplify risk-taking, addiction, relationship breakdown, and fear of loss.
• Others push back on romanticizing poverty; love/fear aren’t strictly tied to wealth.

Emotional complexity and self-forgiveness

• Some find it easy to accept “logical” past mistakes but struggle deeply with regrets involving hurting others or social failures.
• Intrusive memories and lifelong regret are framed as qualitatively different from small experimental losses.
• A few note a “superpower” of low embarrassment about past cringe, enabling faster learning and progress.