The lost boys: how a generation of young men fell behind women on pay

Perceived Shortage of Positive Male Role Models

• Several comments worry that widely visible male “role models” skew toward performative, toxic masculinity (e.g. shock-jock style influencers), which harms boys’ social and career prospects.
• Others argue you shouldn’t look to internet celebrities at all; real role models should be parents, teachers, local mentors, and even fictional characters.
• There’s debate over whether role models must share a child’s gender. Some insist boys need “ways of being a man” modeled by men; others see “being a good person” as gender-neutral.

Gender Roles, Identity, and Indoctrination

• One side views strict gender expectations as harmful “indoctrination” that should be minimized so kids can self-direct.
• Another counters that gender roles are persistent social facts, so children will navigate them regardless; positive male exemplars within those roles are still needed.
• Disagreement emerges over whether boys naturally resist looking up to women, and whether that’s biological or social.

Online Culture, Incels, and the “War of the Sexes”

• Some tie the situation to rhetoric from fringe online spaces becoming mainstream, predicting a long-term rise in NEETs/incels and permanent declines in marriage rates.
• Others see the “war of the sexes” as mostly an online amplification of extremes, not yet representative of everyday life.

Explaining the Wage Reversal

• One framing: policy and DEI efforts closed the historical gap “too fast,” creating an overshoot where women now out-earn young men.
• A counter-framing: most “policy” was just removing barriers; women have long outperformed boys in school, so better early-career outcomes are unsurprising and not necessarily a problem.
• There’s sharp conflict over whether women might simply be better suited to school-like and entry-level white-collar work, versus claims that men are intrinsically more capable and now disadvantaged by favoritism toward women.

Education, Behavior, and Boys Falling Behind

• Multiple comments note girls often work harder, mature earlier, and align better with school expectations, while boys are more likely to disengage, goof off, or adopt antisocial personas.
• Some argue school structures (grading homework heavily, reducing recess, emphasizing compliance) were adjusted to help girls and may have unintentionally harmed boys.
• Others highlight rising toxic/sexualized behavior among boys in schools and worry this will produce unemployable adults; critics say that’s overgeneralization or “just-world” thinking.

Interpreting the Numbers and Labor Markets

• Several point out low absolute wages for all young people and the distorting effect of COVID-era sector shocks (e.g., female-heavy sectors bouncing back differently than male-heavy trades).
• Discussion notes declining “male” blue-collar paths (manufacturing, construction) alongside persistent shortages and good pay in trades like plumbing and electrical work, suggesting a misalignment of aspiration vs opportunity.

Assistance, Structural Bias, and Taboo Topics

• One view: young women receive more targeted scholarships, grants, and encouragement; any male-dominated field triggers “fix it” initiatives, whereas female-dominated fields often don’t.
• Others respond that these interventions aim to offset long-standing structural advantages for men; pointing only at overt programs for women ignores deeper, accumulated privilege.
• Talking openly about cases where women appear advantaged (e.g., grading bias, diversity quotas) is described as socially risky or taboo; some recount backlash when questioning “reverse discrimination.”

Social Stability and Future Risks

• Some commenters reject framing women’s gains as a “crisis,” arguing equality can feel like oppression to those long privileged.
• Others worry about large cohorts of disengaged, resentful young men—economically marginal, romantically excluded, and politically alienated—posing long-run risks to social stability if their prospects and sense of purpose are not addressed.