I won't connect my dishwasher to your cloud

Declining trust in reviews & how people now shop

• Many commenters say Consumer Reports and similar outlets miss critical issues like app‑gated features or long‑term reliability; some cancelled subscriptions after bad experiences.
• Wirecutter is also seen as degraded; some now prefer industry repair/warranty data, local repair techs’ advice, and manuals over “best buy” lists.
• Several plan to pre‑download manuals and search for “Wi‑Fi,” “app,” or “cloud” before buying.

Cloud-gated features & consumer deception

• Core complaint: essential or marketed features (Eco mode, rinse, delay start, self‑clean, half‑load) are only available via Bosch’s Home Connect app for some models.
• Some view this as “product not as advertised” or consumer fraud if not clearly disclosed; others say the dishwasher is still “fully functional” for normal cycles.
• There’s disagreement: some report Bosch and sibling brands with all functions on physical controls, others say new US lines moved more into app‑only territory.
• A reverse‑engineered writeup claims a “no‑cloud” local mode exists, but it still requires a one‑time cloud handshake and app setup.

Privacy, security & longevity worries

• Strong concern that appliance cloud services are unreliable, insecure (unencrypted traffic, frequent outages), and likely to be shut down within 5–10 years, breaking paid‑for features.
• People resent being forced to create accounts, accept ToS, and surrender data to unlock capabilities already on the hardware.
• Some fear future subscription or pay‑per‑cycle models and ad‑supported UIs; HP’s printer behavior is cited as a precedent.

Usefulness vs gimmickry of “smart” features

• Supporters like notifications to phone/watch, remote start timed to cheap power or solar, custom programs, and accessibility for people who can’t easily hear chimes or see tiny panels.
• Critics argue all of this can be done locally (Home Assistant, smart plugs, Bluetooth/web UIs) without vendor clouds; most extra modes are seen as marketing gimmicks.
• Accessibility angle cuts both ways: app UIs can help blind users, but app‑only controls can also exclude people without smartphones or with cognitive impairments.

Alternatives: dumb, prosumer, used & repair

• Strategies mentioned: buy older/vintage or “commercial” appliances (e.g., Speed Queen, some Miele), prioritize mechanical controls, or choose signage/monitor-style “dumb” TVs.
• Some advocate used gear plus repair/restoration; others mention aftermarket control boards for AC units and potential for similar “de‑clouded” controllers for dishwashers.
• Positive anecdotes about brands exist (Bosch, Miele, etc.), but so do stories of premature failures and expensive control boards.

Regulation, standards & pushback

• Many see legislation as the only durable fix: mandates for local control, open APIs, long‑term support, clearer labeling (“cloud‑free / cloud‑optional / cloud‑required”), and accessibility/consumer‑protection enforcement.
• Matter, Zigbee, and local‑first protocols are hoped for but seen as complex and not yet aligned with manufacturers’ data/lock‑in incentives.
• Some argue the strongest signal is returning such products; others note sunk time and hassle make even principled buyers keep them, so they instead use publicity and reviews to deter future sales.