Are you the same person you used to be? (2022)

Becoming vs Being the Same Person

• Many say they are not the same person and view that as positive growth: more skills, better judgment, less arrogance.
• Others feel a strong “core essence” has stayed the same, with life adding layers rather than replacing the self.
• A recurring idea: we are an accumulation of all our past selves rather than a completely new person.

Childhood Dreams and Adult Compromise

• Several recount childhood ambitions (scientist, “something with computers,” even Ninja Turtle) and how real life forced compromises.
• Some see compromise as healthy: grounded, achievable goals allow satisfaction and success, even if dreams shift.
• A counterpoint: it’s questionable to let a four‑year‑old’s desires dictate adult life; early goals can be naive or externally imposed.

Identity, Privilege, and Adversity

• One strand argues focusing on “who do I want to be” is more productive than obsessing over “who am I,” especially around identity politics.
• Pushback claims this stance reflects privilege; many must constantly suppress aspects of themselves just to survive economically or socially.
• Long back‑and‑forth contrasts “normal” hardship, class background, and what counts as being “rich,” highlighting very different baselines.

Continuity of Self and Memory

• People debate whether memory is necessary for earlier experiences to shape character; some say no.
• Others note childhood amnesia but argue that values and dispositions still carry through.
• Several describe techniques for retrieving surprisingly detailed early memories, and how photos/stories create “synthetic” memories.

Free Will and Shaping Identity

• Some emphasize agency: humans can act as “inputs to their own system,” changing jobs, locations, and habits to reshape identity.
• Others highlight manipulation, advertising, and unconscious influence, suggesting much of what feels like free choice is constrained or engineered.

Relationships and Accumulated Selves

• Long‑term partners are seen as “all their ages at once”; people feel married to multiple temporal versions of the same person.
• Parenthood and leadership are described as roles that force deep changes in behavior without feeling like a betrayal of core values.

Attitudes Toward Past Selves

• Many report cringing at their 5‑ or 10‑years‑ago self and take that as a sign of growth.
• A minority feel essentially unchanged since early childhood, just with more emotional control and knowledge.