Root for your friends
Title jokes & double meanings
- Many expected a technical post about Unix “root,” device rooting, or SSH; others referenced the board game Root.
- Australian and Kiwi readers noted “root” as sexual slang, finding the title unintentionally funny.
Resonance of the core message
- Several commenters felt the essay articulated something they’d half‑formed: that consciously rooting for friends is both kind and personally beneficial.
- A specific line about not trusting anyone with your wins struck a chord; some realized they rarely share successes, yet still expect support.
Jealousy, envy, and emotional work
- Multiple threads discuss jealousy as common but manageable: you can feel it without acting from it, and practice shifting toward genuine happiness for others.
- Some describe moving from bitterness to intentionally celebrating others, finding it improves their own well‑being.
- Others admit to feeling competitive or zero‑sum, then consciously reframing success as non‑threatening.
Praise, humility, and sharing wins
- A few are averse to praise and avoid sharing wins to dodge the discomfort of being “evaluated.”
- There’s debate over bragging vs. healthy self‑disclosure: some insist visible pride makes people dislike you; others argue that dimming yourself breeds misery.
Negative bonding and toxic dynamics
- Several warn against friendships built on shared resentment or gossip, which feel energizing but are corrosive.
- Some recount “friends” who quietly root for their failure or even sabotage them, and advocate trimming such people.
Gender and cultural perspectives
- Some perceive men as particularly prone to adversarial, grudge‑holding behavior compared to more overt “hype” among some women’s groups.
- Others note cultural differences in the meaning of “friend,” contrasting instrumental, career‑oriented ties with deep, expectation‑light friendships.
Workplace implications
- Many endorse celebrating coworkers’ wins, calling out invisible contributions, and “punching up” praise to managers as both kind and career‑enhancing.
- Several refuse to write negative peer reviews, citing layoff trauma and HR systems that weaponize isolated criticism.
Skepticism and darker views
- A minority argue that jealousy is inevitable, rising‑tide thinking is naïve, or even that “true friendship” doesn’t exist.
- Others push back, stressing boundaries, selective pruning, and investing in people who reliably root for you.