So you're a manager now

Overall reaction to the article

• Many found it relatable and encouraging, especially around humility, admitting mistakes, and shifting from “doer” to “enabler.”
• Others criticized it as “feel-good” and incomplete, missing the hardest and most consequential parts of management: performance management, hiring, firing, budgets, and politics.
• Several people said this kind of soft, internet-friendly advice often assumes everyone is acting in good faith and avoids messy realities.

Communication: clarity vs over-communication

• Strong agreement that managers often fail by under-communicating expectations, priorities, and deadlines.
• Others argued “over-communication” can be suffocating: too many meetings, long-winded explanations, repeated sync check-ins that drain focus.
• Preference from several commenters for:
  • Clear, concise written communication (docs, DMs, email) instead of unnecessary meetings.
  • Explicit priorities and due dates.
  • Repetition of key values and expectations, but mostly in text, not constant verbal interruptions.
• Miscommunication chains (execs → managers → team) were highlighted as a frequent source of frustration.

Performance management, difficult employees, and firing

• Many said the article largely sidesteps the hardest topic: dealing with low or toxic performers who don’t respond to coaching.
• Experiences shared:
  • Years of trying to “save” someone because culture says low performance is always a management failure.
  • Legal, emotional, and process friction around firing, especially in larger orgs; PIPs and documentation can take months.
  • In some environments, you can’t easily fire or replace people, so you “manage out” or isolate damage.
• Several warned that online narratives overemphasize heroic turnarounds and underrepresent situations where cutting losses is the right move.

What managers actually do (and why it feels invisible)

• ICs often see managers as doing “nothing”; managers responded with lists of behind-the-scenes work:
  • Translating vague business asks into workable tickets.
  • Prioritization, sprint planning, stakeholder negotiations, release coordination.
  • Handling interrupts, production issues, architecture discussions, and performance reviews.
  • Acting as “pain sponge” or “shit umbrella,” absorbing politics and chaos so the team can focus.
• Some noted that first-line managers have high responsibility but limited power over hiring, firing, budget, and org-level change.

Leadership vs management, role variants, and politics

• Distinctions drawn between:
  • People managers, tech leads, architects, and agile coaches; some argued many of these roles include leadership but not formal management.
  • “Officer class” managers (far from the work) vs “NCO”/tech-lead types who still code heavily.
• Multiple comments emphasized:
  • Leadership as caring deeply, building relationships, and sponsoring people’s growth.
  • The need to “manage up” and navigate politics: budgets, visibility, stack ranking, retention, and shielding teams from arbitrary top-down decisions.
• Some warned that bottom-tier management is the worst spot: execution pressure from above, people problems below, and little clout to fix systemic issues.

Emotional toll and career choices

• Numerous stories of burnout, anxiety, and even therapy from both toxic managers and toxic reports.
• Some strong engineers moved back to IC roles and were happier; others refused management entirely.
• New managers stuck in hiring freezes or attrition-without-backfill situations felt unable to “do the job”; advice there was often to start interviewing elsewhere.