The case for having roommates even when you can afford to live alone
Privacy & Autonomy vs. Companionship
- Many commenters say that if they can afford it, they strongly prefer living alone for privacy, autonomy, and the ability to be messy, noisy, or do projects without negotiation.
- Others report the opposite: living alone feels lonely and boring; communal homes with friends were some of their happiest years, especially after long workdays.
- Several note that “living alone” doesn’t mean “social isolation” if one has work, hobbies, clubs, and a social life outside the home.
Roommates, Poverty, and Economics
- Strong disagreement over whether roommates are primarily a sign of poverty or a lifestyle choice.
- Some argue sharing housing is almost always economically driven and “normalizing roommates” is just normalizing being poorer than previous generations.
- Others respond that shared housing can be a rational wealth-building strategy (lower rent → more saving/investing) and historically has always been common.
Gender, Socialization & Loneliness
- Some thread participants frame the article as more applicable to women, arguing women more readily use roommates for emotional support, safety, and social rituals (e.g., debriefing dates, dance parties).
- Others push back, describing rich, emotionally supportive all-male or mixed roommate setups and criticize gender stereotypes.
- Several link male isolation to social norms that discourage men from seeking or valuing such communal setups.
Communal Living vs. Family Life
- Multiple people note that “intentional communities” and large shared houses resemble a functional family: shared chores, emotional support, and governance.
- Others insist that well-run communal houses can reach a level of intentionality and mutual responsibility many families never achieve.
- Some with spouses/kids observe that a healthy family home offers the same benefits the article praises in roommates.
Practical Challenges: Compatibility, Governance, Food
- Repeated theme: roommates are wonderful if they’re good; miserable if they’re dirty, unstable, competitive, or disrespectful.
- Shared meals and chore systems work very well for some, but for people with strong food preferences or uneven participation, they become a major source of conflict.
- Several mention the difficulty of partners moving in, emotional entanglements, privacy for dating, and long‑term questions about ownership vs. perpetual renting.
Mental Health, Personality & “What’s Good for You”
- Some introverts say roommates prevent them from sliding into unhealthy isolation; others say communal living would feel like “hell” and they’d rather live in a car.
- A minority argue that even if we prefer solitude, regular enforced social contact (via roommates) might be better for long-term happiness and growth, while critics counter that adults can build social lives without being forced by their housing.