Nine things I learned in ninety years

Overall reactions to the essay

• Many readers found the nine lessons unsurprising but affirming, saying they already strive for similar views and appreciated the clear, gentle articulation.
• Some were moved by the focus on luck, humility, compassion for self and others, and “irrepressible resolve,” calling that quote especially powerful.
• Others wanted more autobiographical detail: the piece felt to some like a collage of other thinkers’ quotes rather than hard‑won personal narrative.
• A few pushed back on “late-life wisdom” generally, questioning advice that wasn’t lived consistently earlier in life and warning about survivorship bias.

Luck, virtue, and meritocracy

• The “outsized role of luck” sparked a long debate:
  • One camp emphasized structural factors (birth, genetics, geography, class, discrimination) and determinism; merit is often built on “invisible scaffolding.”
  • Another camp argued that virtuous choices (education, work, stable family) overwhelmingly correlate with good outcomes and that we do a disservice by downplaying agency.
• Several noted the risk of both extremes: using luck as an excuse for passivity vs. using merit as a way to moralize inequality.
• Ideas like “luck surface area” (exposing yourself to opportunities) and “chance favors the prepared mind” were frequently referenced.

Family, children, and purpose

• Some commenters said having children crystallized many of the essay’s insights and gave a sense of long-term impact; others rejected the notion that reproduction is “the purpose of life.”
• Declining birth rates prompted disagreement: for some, they’re a civilizational problem; for others, a healthy correction on an overpopulated planet.

Marriage, family structure, and outcomes

• A contentious subthread debated claims that finishing school, full-time work, and “marriage before children” lead to better outcomes.
• Critics stressed correlation vs causation, changing norms (stable unmarried couples, different cultures’ notions of marriage), and the dangers of moralizing statistics.
• The exchange highlighted tension between tradition-based prescriptions and nuanced, context-aware interpretations of data.

Happiness, contentment, and default states

• Readers wrestled with the idea of “happiness as default”:
  • Some reframed it as contentment or equanimity—returning to a generally okay baseline, not constant joy.
  • Others warned against “toxic positivity” and emphasized the constructive role of suffering and negative emotions.
• Several mapped the essay’s themes to Stoicism and Buddhism: awareness vs “sleepwalking,” mortality contemplation, dissolving ego, and cultivating present-moment attention.

Self-deception and awareness

• The call to “guard against self-deception” resonated strongly; people shared experiences of therapy and realizing how much they could rationalize to protect ego.
• There was interest in practical “how-to” material for busy adults (meditation, therapy, specific books), but some argued that deep transformation resists simple checklists.

Nostalgia and format

• Many reminisced about the author’s earlier work (interactive books, text adventures) and their impact on childhood reading and imagination.
• Side discussions covered the simplicity of the PDF/WordPress presentation and community efforts to re-typeset it with LaTeX/Typst.