Bringing Sexy Back. Internet surveillance has killed eroticism

Whether Erotic Culture Has “Died”

• Many argue eroticism hasn’t vanished; it’s more overt and commercial than ever (porn, OnlyFans, sexualized games, NSFW subcultures).
• Others agree with the essay’s thesis that private erotic connection and flirtation have become riskier, even as sexualized media flourishes.
• A separate camp says they actually want less sexual content in everyday life, finding “sex sells” marketing numbing and exhausting.

“Too Online” and Bubble Effects

• A recurring critique is that the essay reflects a very specific, terminally‑online, progressive/queer social bubble, not society at large.
• People report living normal offline lives where erotic thoughts, mild flirting, or saying “my hairdresser is hot” are not socially catastrophic.
• Several note prior experiences of mistaking niche Reddit/Twitter norms for “what Americans think,” then discovering offline attitudes were very different.

Surveillance, Shame, and Cancel Culture

• Many resonate with the fear of being publicly shamed via screenshots, clips, or call‑out posts; this produces self‑censorship and anxiety around sex, jokes, and even compliments.
• Others insist there is no centralized “villain,” just platforms optimized for outrage and engagement, plus our own appetite for validation.
• Strong disagreement over “cancel culture”: some see it as a real climate of mob punishment that now spills into intimate life; others call it an exaggerated or partisan framing.

The Hairdresser Anecdote & Private Fantasy

• The friend’s demand that the author apologize to the hairdressers for private erotic thoughts is widely seen as absurd and even creepier than the fantasy.
• Many draw a hard line between thoughts vs actions: internal arousal is natural; the ethical boundary is how you behave and whether you drag unaware workers into it.
• Some note useful distinctions between “intimate” versus “sexual,” and that professional touch (physio, hair, massage) can feel intimate without being exploitative.

Broader Cultural & Generational Shifts

• Commenters mention: more cautious workplace interactions, location‑tracking in relationships, loss of sex scenes in mainstream film, and youth having more porn but often less partnered sex.
• Several link current moral panics about sex (on both left and right) to older American puritanism, now expressed through new ideological lenses and online enforcement.