I rebooted my social life

Need for Third Spaces & Local Community

• Many describe being content at home yet worn down by doing everything in one place.
• Suggested “third spaces”: coworking offices, game shops (RPGs, war games), climbing gyms, makerspaces, neighborhood councils, churches, fraternal orders, dance classes, running/cycling clubs, and community gardens.
• A recurring point: you don’t just “find” these spaces—often you must deliberately seek or create them.

Remote Work, Solitude, and Mental Health

• Remote work enables comfortable reclusion but can quietly erode day‑to‑day social contact.
• Some say they thrive as homebodies and find most IRL socializing dull or fraught; others report depression, burnout, or a hollow feeling despite enjoying WFH.
• There’s debate over whether limited social life is simply a preference or an unhealthy avoidance of a “fundamental human need.”

Building vs Joining Communities

• Many success stories involve starting things: rock‑climbing clubs, board‑game nights, dads’ nights, weekly apartment salons, language groups, cold‑plunge rituals.
• Weekly, predictable events are seen as more effective than rare ones; low‑stakes, “come if you like” framing reduces pressure.
• Others report failed attempts: exhausting outreach, low turnout, or only fleeting connections despite years of effort.

Online vs In‑Person Connections

• Broad agreement that online friends and forums are valuable but don’t fully replace local ties: you can’t share childcare, a meal, or emergency support through a screen.
• The importance of spontaneous, last‑minute hangs is emphasized as something online or distant friendships can’t easily provide.

Gender, Life Stage, and Community

• Several argue men often need shared activities to bond; others push back on gender generalizations and the misuse of statistics.
• Kids are described as the traditional driver of community (schools, sports, parent networks). DINK/SINK commenters note how easy it is to drift into comfortable isolation.
• Parents stress they still want to see child‑free friends but need them to initiate and accept kid‑friendly constraints.

Loneliness, Rejection, and Group Dynamics

• Some share severe, long‑term exclusion and repeated ghosting, leading to doubts about their own “humanity.” Replies offer empathy and concrete ideas: build or join places people gather, volunteer, or piggyback on existing projects.
• Volunteering and clubs can be uplifting but also suffer from power dynamics, cliques, and drama; advice is to treat groups as disposable and keep searching until one fits.