The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

Reaction to the essay and writing style

• Many see the piece as “techbro discovers very common thing”: over‑romanticizing a mundane act (sitting in a café without a phone) and elevating it to revelation.
• The opening claim that cafés exist primarily for group socializing is widely rejected as simply wrong. Several say their default café use has always been solo.
• The breathless, chopped-up “LinkedIn / TED talk / broetry” style and the title’s play on Kundera draw criticism as cliché or grating; others find it eloquent, joyful, and harmless.
• A minority push back against the harshness: this is just someone new to an experience, being vulnerable and excited; not everything has to be jaded.

Cafés, culture, and being alone

• Many commenters (especially from Europe and Japan) say solo café time is utterly normal—reading, journaling, working, or just people‑watching.
• Some note cultural differences: in certain places eating or café‑sitting alone is seen as odd or “cringe,” especially outside big cities; in others it’s routine, like riding public transit.
• There’s debate over whether cafés are still “meeting spaces” or now function more like libraries/work hubs with coffee and Wi‑Fi. Some cafés even discourage laptops to preserve turnover or vibe.

Phones, distraction, and infrastructure lock‑in

• Strong resonance with the idea that smartphones make stillness rare; several compare instinctively reaching for a phone to nicotine withdrawal.
• Others argue phones aren’t the problem; blaming them is a convenient scapegoat for deeper dissatisfaction.
• Practical constraints: transit tickets, payments, building access, QR‑code menus, childcare expectations, and 2FA all make “leave the phone at home” increasingly hard.
• Strategies mentioned: strict screen‑time limits, two‑phone setups (one locked‑down), parental controls, “do not disturb,” and simply keeping the phone silent and out of sight.

Solitude, anxiety, and “doing nothing”

• Many value phone‑free café time, walks, baths, saunas, or solo travel as informal meditation—letting the “default mode network” wander, generating ideas and self‑reflection.
• Others struggle: sitting still with no stimulation feels like torture or triggers rumination; discussion touches on exposure therapy, its limits, and neurodiversity (e.g., autism, ADHD).
• Several frame this as rediscovering practices older generations had by necessity: boredom, waiting, daydreaming, and quiet third places.

Class, privilege, and time off

• Some criticize the contrast between a staycation and “skipping Japan,” reading it as privileged hand‑wringing; others insist travel vs. local rest is mostly about choices, not just money.
• A few broaden this to work culture: long hours, weak safety nets, and rising costs reduce people’s ability to waste time in cafés—making deliberate idleness feel like a luxury.