You Don't Batch Cook When You're Suicidal (2020)
Poverty, mental illness, and “executive dysfunction” make well‑meaning advice about budgeting and batch cooking feel irrelevant or cruel to people living on the edge, argue commenters responding to a viral essay by a former single parent on benefits. Many highlight how privilege, lack of lived experience, and structural policy failures—rather than individual willpower—shape whether people can act on frugal tips, while others push back that ignorance isn’t always a choice and that personal responsibility still matters. The thread broadens into a wider argument over capitalism, wasted human potential, family and community support, and whether public figures who speak about poverty have been fully honest about their own circumstances.
Scope of Poverty, Privilege, and “Ignorance”
- Many agree the piece powerfully conveys that poverty and privilege are largely accidents of birth, while choices lie in how the privileged speak about the poor.
- The line “ignorance is a choice” is heavily debated:
- Some say it fairly targets public figures who choose not to learn and still lecture the poor.
- Others argue most people can’t realistically understand all contexts, or are shaped by propaganda, so ignorance isn’t always chosen.
- A further view: focusing on individual ignorance obscures structural systems that produce and weaponize that ignorance.
Lived Experience of Poverty
- Multiple commenters with similar backgrounds say the portrayal of poverty, trauma, and executive dysfunction feels painfully accurate.
- Recurrent themes: poverty “steals time,” bureaucracy and debt consume hours, and constant stress wrecks mental health and decision-making.
- Several note how shame and fear (e.g., losing a child to the state) can prevent using available family support.
Family, Community, and Cultural Context
- Immigrant and non‑Anglosphere perspectives stress that multi‑generational living and strong local networks are normal elsewhere; extreme isolation in poverty is seen as a Western failure.
- Others counter that the author did have some family support but struggled to ask for or accept help, possibly linked to trauma and mental health.
ADHD, Mental Health, and “Choice”
- Many readers immediately recognize ADHD and trauma patterns; they argue these greatly limit “rational” budgeting and planning, especially under duress.
- There is tension between “tough love”/personal responsibility and the view that addiction, impulsive spending, and paralysis are symptoms, not mere bad choices.
Authenticity and Criticism of the Author
- Some celebrate the author as a hero who used writing to escape and advocates effectively for the poor.
- Others link to investigative material and interviews alleging exaggerated hardship, reckless spending of supporter funds, and a shifting self‑presentation.
- This leads some to see the narrative as moving but morally compromised; others say the systemic critique stands regardless of the messenger.
Broader Economic and Political Debates
- Long subthreads debate capitalism, “wage slavery,” credential barriers, meritocracy, luck, IQ, and whether huge wealth disparities are acceptable.
- Many emphasize wasted human potential trapped in poverty; others argue wealth creation isn’t zero‑sum and that rewarding achievement is necessary.
Meta: HN Relevance and Quality
- Some welcome more human, non‑tech essays on HN; others prefer to keep the site narrowly tech‑focused.
- There is also criticism of patronizing financial advice (“skip lattes,” “just cook from scratch”) as missing the realities described in the essay.