Ask HN: Struggling with poor memory and executive function. What to do?

Hacker News Discussion ↗

Struggles with poor memory, emotional regulation and executive function prompt a wide range of responses, from people urging medical evaluation for conditions like ADHD, CPTSD, depression, sleep apnea, thyroid issues or nutrient deficiencies, to caution against self-medicating with trendy supplements or pop-psychology cures. Many emphasize that professional help (therapy, psychiatry, coaching) often needs to be combined with basic lifestyle foundations—sleep, diet, exercise, reduced alcohol and digital overload—and with external systems such as calendars, notes, spaced-repetition tools and structured routines. Others highlight the psychological dimension: large, vague goals can overwhelm neurodivergent minds, so breaking change into tiny, concrete habits and building a supportive environment and accountability is framed as more realistic than expecting a single “fix.”

Seek Medical / Professional Assessment

  • Many urge starting with a doctor, psychiatrist, or psychologist to rule out medical causes (e.g., thyroid, B12 deficiency, sleep apnea, hearing/APD) and to evaluate ADHD, autism, depression, anxiety, PTSD, or cPTSD.
  • Repeated warning that anonymous internet advice is limited; professional diagnosis and monitoring are key.

ADHD, Trauma, and Related Conditions

  • Several describe very similar symptoms tied to ADHD, often combined with cPTSD, depression, anxiety, or mild TBI.
  • Working memory issues in ADHD are linked by commenters to long‑term memory problems and “time blindness.”
  • Some highlight dissociation and structural dissociation in cPTSD as major drivers of memory gaps and emotional dysregulation.

Medication and Supplement Debates

  • Stimulants (Adderall, Ritalin, Vyvanse) are reported as life‑changing by some and overhyped, short‑lived, or side‑effect‑prone (cardiac, tolerance) by others.
  • Non‑stimulant ADHD meds (e.g., Intuniv) and antidepressants help some. Ketamine is described as transformative for depression by a few.
  • Testosterone replacement, magnesium, vitamin D, omega‑3s, B12 injections, acetyl‑L‑carnitine are mentioned as helpful by individuals.
  • Lion’s mane gets both praise and warnings about lasting adverse effects; linked subreddits show concern.
  • Strong skepticism is expressed toward certain commercial “brain scan” ADHD methods and pop‑psych personalities.

Lifestyle Foundations

  • Common advice: prioritize sleep (possibly via sleep study), regular exercise (especially strength), hydration, and nutrient‑dense diet with fewer ultra‑processed foods, sugar, seed oils, or heavy carbs.
  • Alcohol reduction or elimination repeatedly credited with better mood, sleep, and cognition.
  • Some advocate “dopamine detox”: cutting or reducing social media, porn, games, and constant content consumption.

Externalizing Memory & Systems

  • Many recommend calendars, task managers, kanban/Trello, habit trackers, journaling, personal knowledge management (e.g., Obsidian) and spaced repetition tools like Anki.
  • Strategy is to accept poor memory, externalize everything, and use cues (e.g., unread texts, physical reminders).

Therapy, Coaching, and Skills

  • Therapy (especially CBT and trauma‑informed modalities) is widely endorsed for emotional regulation, relationships, and building coping tools.
  • Some want more “coach‑like,” action‑oriented support, including ADHD‑focused coaching or structured programs; others stress doing foundational behavioral work before or alongside meds.
  • Advice includes starting with tiny, realistic habits, building routines, and treating concentration, emotional regulation, and “thinking” as trainable skills.

Mindset, Spirituality, and Acceptance

  • Suggestions range from religious engagement to secular mindfulness/meditation and tai chi for grounding and focus.
  • Multiple comments stress self‑compassion, avoiding self‑attack, and accepting neurodivergent brains while designing environments and systems that work with them.