Why don't you move abroad?
Whether to move abroad or stay close to home emerges as a trade-off between opportunity and belonging rather than a simple matter of nationalism. Commenters highlight hard constraints like visas, money, debt, and competition for jobs, alongside softer but powerful factors such as family ties, culture, language barriers, loneliness, and the difficulty of forming deep friendships as an adult in a new country. Many describe gaining perspective and career benefits from time overseas, yet a significant number ultimately return home or choose not to leave at all, prioritizing roots, support networks, and long‑term quality of life over higher salaries or status.
Motivations to Move Abroad
- Many argue you should “choose your country” rather than accept birthplace as destiny; nationalism is seen by some as an irrational constraint.
- Others describe moving as a way out of poverty or stagnation: tech/OSS as escape from generational hardship, or leaving unsafe, polluted, or economically stagnant cities (e.g., São Paulo, parts of Brazil, Sri Lanka).
- Some see the US or Western Europe as income-maximizing “launchpads” for later freedom, or as better ecosystems for certain careers (research, startups).
Reasons to Stay or Return Home
- A strong theme: people move abroad, later realize they don’t “belong,” and move back for family, culture, and deep friendships.
- Several say they now earn less but are far happier near relatives, in smaller towns or home countries, with lower stress and better work–life balance.
- Some emphasize that loving one’s country/culture is as natural as loving family, and not inherently nationalist.
Practical Barriers
- Visas and immigration policy are major blockers; many can’t move even if they want to.
- Money, debt, and employer-tied benefits (especially in the US) make leaving risky.
- Age, disability, race, and language barriers further limit realistic options.
Social and Emotional Costs
- Long-term immigrants describe losing old friends, weakened family ties, and missing aging parents.
- Time zones and distance make emergencies and regular contact hard.
- Building deep local friendships is difficult because locals already have established circles; immigrants often bond mostly with other immigrants.
- Mixed-nationality families and children rooted in the new country can make moving “back” effectively impossible.
Quality of Life and Safety
- Experiences diverge: some praise Western cities for safety and public services; others criticize homelessness, crime, or politics (e.g., SF street conditions, US healthcare, gun issues, Canadian/UK civil-liberties concerns).
- Several note that GDP per capita statistics mask huge intra-country variation; PPP and local context matter.
Travel vs. Permanent Migration
- Many recommend living abroad temporarily in one’s 20s–30s to gain perspective, then deciding where to settle.
- Others push back: “moving abroad” is often oversold; long-term costs (rootlessness, family distance, reverse culture shock) are under-discussed.
Education and Competition Side Thread
- There’s discussion of hyper-competitive entrance exams (India/Brazil/China), rote learning, and how unrelated science questions gatekeep CS degrees.
- Some note this drives skilled emigration while also making top domestic positions extremely hard to access.