The Death of Shame Is Tearing Us Apart
Shame is portrayed as a waning force in public life, with many arguing that social norms no longer restrain behavior in politics, business, or everyday settings—from NBA teams “tanking” games to people blasting videos on public transport. Commenters distinguish between internal shame (a useful self-regulation mechanism) and external shaming (often weaponized for control or harassment), and note that consequences, not feelings alone, ultimately shape behavior. Others highlight how inequality, multiculturalism, and online “cancel culture” have fragmented shared norms, making it harder to agree on what should be shameful at all.
Is Shame Really “Dead”?
- Many argue shame and shaming are still pervasive, especially around politics, identity labels (“-phobic”), and online pile-ons.
- Others contend what’s disappearing is certain kinds of shame (e.g., about manners or civic duty), while anxiety and social judgment remain intense.
- Several see younger generations as highly anxious and self-conscious, but debate whether that’s “shame” or something else.
Shame vs Shaming, Guilt, and Growth
- Multiple comments distinguish:
- Shame (internal regulation; “I did wrong, I should do better”)
- Shaming (external aggression; often weaponized)
- Guilt as a potentially healthier focus.
- Non-toxic shame is framed as key to maturing and evaluating past behavior; toxic shame implies “I am worthless.”
- Overreaction against shame in general is seen by some as undermining social cooperation, inviting more coercive state control instead.
Culture, Manners, and Public Behavior
- Public-transport speakerphone/TikTok use is a recurring example: some see it as proof shame is dead, others as teen behavior or culture-specific norms.
- Comparisons: quiet Japanese trains vs loud Latin American public spaces; hair-covering, eating while walking, eating with hands.
- Debate centers on “negative externalities”: is something merely a tradition, or does it objectively impose on others?
Power, Inequality, and the Limits of Shame
- Several argue shame only works among relative equals; extreme inequality lets elites ignore consequences.
- Others note shame is also deeply embedded in hierarchical “honor cultures.”
- There is concern that, for powerful actors (billionaires, corporations, politicians, media), shame no longer constrains behavior; only formal sanctions or incentives matter.
Cancel Culture, Overuse, and “Vice Signaling”
- Some say pervasive online shaming led people to “numb out” and stop caring, eroding the effectiveness of shame.
- “Vice/sin signaling” is mentioned: flaunting transgressive behavior as a status display or proof of power (“I can get away with this”).
- Multiculturalism is suggested as another factor: with many conflicting norms, it’s harder to know what behaviors can be legitimately shamed.
NBA Tanking and Incentive Design
- Several see the NBA “tanking” example as about misaligned incentives, not moral decay.
- Suggestions include promotion/relegation and systems where winning is always strategically optimal.
- Some note that across domains, rational actors follow incentives; relying solely on shame to correct that is seen as naive or ineffective.