Diamonds Suck

Original Article ↗ Hacker News Discussion ↗

Diamonds as engagement stones come under heavy scrutiny here, with many arguing that their high price, artificial scarcity, and ethical baggage are products of marketing rather than intrinsic value. Commenters contrast natural diamonds with lab-grown diamonds and alternatives like moissanite, colored gemstones, or simple metal bands, weighing status signaling and tradition against financial prudence and human/ environmental costs. Several note shifting norms—especially outside the U.S.—and suggest that experiences, custom-made rings, or cheaper lab-made stones may offer better long-term value than adhering to De Beers–era expectations.

Diamonds as Status and Signaling

  • Many see the high price as the point of a diamond: a costly signal of wealth, commitment, and social status.
  • Others question how effective “parading” is and argue status-seeking is often wasteful or socially harmful.
  • Some compare it to Rolexes, Gucci/Prada, or other luxury goods with huge markups and artificial scarcity.

Marketing, Culture, and Tradition

  • Strong consensus that De Beers’ long-running campaigns (“A diamond is forever”, 2‑months’ salary rule) heavily shaped modern engagement norms, especially in the US.
  • Several note that what now feels like “culture” or “tradition” was deliberately manufactured, yet has become socially entrenched.
  • Cultural contrast: in parts of Europe and France, colored stones or simple bands are common; engagement rings may be cheap or temporary.

Alternatives to Natural Diamonds

  • Many couples choose:
    • Moissanite, YAG, or other lab-grown gems.
    • Lab-grown diamonds (chemically identical) at ~20% of natural-diamond prices.
    • Colored stones (sapphire, ruby, emerald, topaz).
    • Simple bands of gold, silver, titanium, tungsten, or wood; sometimes self-forged workshops.
    • Silicone or cheap travel rings, or no ring at all.
  • Some report partners and friends being very happy with non-diamond choices.

Lab-Grown Diamonds vs Moissanite (Aesthetics & Perception)

  • Several think moissanite is “too fiery” or rainbow-sparkly and looks like costume jewelry; others love the extra sparkle and affordability.
  • Lab-grown diamonds are described as visually indistinguishable from natural diamonds without specialized tools; some prefer them as “real diamond without the baggage.”
  • A minority argues that if the core function is signaling expense, cheap substitutes are like “fake Rolexes” and miss the point.

Investment, Liquidity, and Pricing

  • Many call diamonds a poor “investment” and highly illiquid at retail prices.
  • One view: diamonds are decently liquid at wholesale prices via trade platforms; the big loss is the retail markup in finished jewelry.
  • Expensive watches are seen by some as a better store of value than diamonds.

Ethics and Externalities

  • Repeated concern about conflict diamonds, labor abuses, and cartel-like control of supply and pricing.
  • Some see avoiding natural diamonds (or luxury jewelry altogether) as an ethical choice; others note that marketing and social pressure still drive demand.

Rings, Weddings, and Relationship Norms

  • Several couples consciously reject diamonds or big weddings and report no negative impact on their marriages.
  • Some treat ring expectations as a “character signal” or compatibility test.
  • Others argue: do whatever both partners genuinely want, but recognize the financial and social tradeoffs.